Edge

I'm constantly on edge now. I feel like a ticking timebomb. And sometimes, I feel like my heart will burst. Too many things are happening concurrently and it's not fair.

It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair.

How could he do what he did, when he'd lived through the exact same situation. How can he make it difficult? How is it he's not thinking about the most important thing in the world. God, I'm so worried. I'm hoping it all works out okay for them.

And then he, god. If I'd been angry and bitter before, I don't know what he's pushed me to now. Somehow this is his fault. Cos the genius idolises him stupidly. Oh maybe like Kam said, it's a vicious cycle, and I'm beginning to think there's no escape or rescue.

So what's my curse, because of my lineage?

And then, with all the drama around me, there has to be trash happening in my life too. Now. Because it's so necessary right?

I'm on edge all the time. I'm terrified. I fee fragile although I'm trying so hard to construct my walls again, to seem tough. I feel helpless, and that's the worst. I feel I can't do anything to save these situations and the outcome is too heartbreaking to think of.

The outcome of all the issues.

Pray for me. Please.