I, Rajesh Uma, swear that I, again, have nothing against Men. I realise and recognise that women can be cheaters too. I promise my feminist days ended long back, and that I am not trying to incur the wrath of any male, cheater or not. ;)
Okay now that that's outta the way, have a look at what inspired this post, certain excerpts from said dear friend's blog, and of course as usual my 2 cents worth (in blue) :-
- These reasons (for cheating) could be genetic, psychological or simply lack of interest.
(Does this mean we're all damned cos it's in our cells, our genetic makeup? Sheesh. Explains some, though...)
- Women usually try to overlook certain things and think that everything is normal and under control.
(This reeks of d-e-n-i-a-l. Darn. Our biggest flaw. We believe what we want to, we see only what pleases us.)
- You (the woman) need to know the circumstances that led him to cheat on you.
(This is important I think, to sometimes rectify the situation and in other cases to stop feeling guilty or responsible for the sorry %%$^%'s actions)
- Sometimes, it is a woman’s fault to give her man a chance to cheat on her. If your man wants you to change some of your ways and habits and you can’t comply, chances are he would start looking for those habits in someone else.
(You know, while I see the logic in this, I refuse to believe that a woman is ever responsible for her partner's infidelity. If she can't comply, then they should bloody reach a compromise of some sort together. If that's not possible, leave, but don't bloody tell her it's her fault you found yourself in someone else's bed dammit.)
Now, that that's done, let me tell you why I think men cheat, and oh, it's really very simple, trust me.
It's because they bloody can.
Most men are egotists by nature, when it comes to sexual exploits of any kind. While most women keep silent about how many men they've had, men are respected when they score. The more the merrier, apparently. Their masculinity is upped by how easy they get with the girls.
As Lil Kim once said,
If you look back in history,
it's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory, the more he can score
While the girl can do the same, yet you call her a whore
I dont understand why it's OK,
The guy can get away with it
The girl gets named.
So, in a sense, society accepts infidelity from men. How often have we heard 'boys will be boys?' Hell, we've resigned ourselves to it. The non-cheating man raises more eyebrows of surprise compared to the cheating man.
Also, the women make it easier, because when they're caught, they believe it when the cheaters say they're sorry, and oh, it was nothing (this one's a favourite) and that they love you so so much. (where was that love when you were busy with another woman, loser?)
Women believe constantly in that fairytale of 'ever-after.' Even when it explodes in their faces, they still want to believe in it, and that's the downfall. Cos the real world don't have gingerbread men, houses made of sugar and lil boys with long noses, sister.
And so, 'happily-ever-after' so often, is a myth too.
I leave you with a passage from this book I'm currently reading. (for the 67th time...)
"I'm a man, Harry. And the reason I'm here is to plant my seed in as many places as I possibly can. That's why we're here. That's what men do."
"Bollocks. That's what boys do."
But later, as I watched him leaving with the show's cutest researcher, I thought to myself,
"Why shouldn't he plant his seed in as many places as possible? What would he be saving it for?"
"What was so great about the solitary little flowerpot that I was cultivating?"
- Harry & Marty, Man and Boy.
(so you see, even the non-cheating man gets convinced or tempted sometimes. Brace yourselves women, there might just be no cure)
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