Excerpts

I meant to post about letters I'd gotten through my life. There're lotsa funny ones - mainly from Kam, cos we used to fight like cats and dogs on paper. Then we gave up, and surrendered to sweet love. Ha. And then, there were the painstakingly hand-printed ones by Nisha. The kind that looks so precious, you fold and refold and safely put in a box. Then there were the ones by Kaart and Fi, with senseless humour that drives you wild. Yet somehow, they manage to inject words of support and love between the lines. There were also the ones from my mum. Heartwrenching sometimes, crazy funny others. The birthday cards were aplenty too, from acquaintences and friends seen no more, relatives who are no more. And of course, there are the notes of love.

Walking down memory lane sometimes can be very painful, and for me, because sometimes I tend to block certain things out, it can be one hell of a wakening. I leave you with a pile I found. These are all from one person; different letters. I couldn't get past this pile to leave you excerpts from the others. I was a little lost in thought, andddddd I have my darn project to get started on dammit.

- J


"I memorised all the lines for you, if you only knew, how that's so unlike me....."

"I spend countless hours pondering; thinking about just how I fit into the grand scheme of things"

"How expression might break past the chains that bind me to my fears. You aren't seperate from it all."

"I'm scared of who I am with you because you know just how to hold me and lull me to sleep."

"Because who I am with you is a direct result of who I am to you."

"Serendipity is not just a word."

"This year, New Years Eve is gonna be extra special.
One year since I saw a fragile angel sitting on the sidewalk."

"But all the shackles, the cliches and the arguments wear me thin."

"Stuck between a past I relive all too well and a future I'm all too cautious of."

"I can see you everyday and not once fail to notice how beautiful you are"

"By the time you read this, things will either have gone south or be blessed bliss with us"

"Perhaps we'll get better navigating the minefield"

"I mean this when I say, when the bomb goes off, I'm thankful our limbs will go flying off at the same time. You drive me crazy."

"Sitting here, looking at the pile of torn-up letters, remnants of hate and anger and something that still endures"

"When you came along, I was capable of looking past the bitterness, the pain I wore so proudly on my sleeve"

"It's not beyond me to love with all my heart. That, I learnt from you."

"One more run, one more try, I could keep on holding on. But that isn't gonna make things better"

"I wish I didn't make you cry so much, God, I really do. It scares me how much of a monster I feel like."

"We keep drawing these circles in sand and wiping the slate clean. But the memory remains."

"You'll find someone who loves you. Perhaps more than I do. But not like how I love you - with an ache in my heart that goes away everytime I hold you"

"Stop all this and come back home dammit. Oops"