Gambles.

Maybe the good thing is, well, now I know. It had been semi-agonising wondering what it was gonna be. Towards the end, I just wanted to know. I'm glad I had support and some diversions. Made the waiting process less teeth-clench worthy.

Anyhow, initially, I thought when I found out it was gonna be this, I was gonna be really really really crushed. And I guess, somewhere deep inside, I am. But, I think I've decided to look beyond this.....

Because.....

I remember what led to this, the quirky silly things I'd say to get him to do something for me, the endless hours of thinking how to, what to, the smiling for no reason, the love, the support, the plans, and so many other questions....

and I think....

if this was what we wanted, then crazy or not,

we must have something pretty darn amazing, no?

And it taught me a lesson; it made me step into another world, and there are so many things I respect and appreciate now.

At this point, I really wanna say this. Okay before that, I know the greater majority reading this will not know what I'm going on about, but I know the ones that matter do, and that's all I care about.

So to those who know, I love you. Madly. Each, for different reasons, but most, for wanting this as much if not more than I did.

and to you, K.A.R, I love you, and I promise I'll see you soon.